First Meeting with a Divorce Attorney, What Happens?

By Matt Majeski, Minnesota divorce and family law attorney since 2008. Last reviewed October 2026.

Many people feel uneasy before or during their first meeting with a divorce attorney. Knowing what to expect can ease a lot of that worry. Here’s a general idea of what happens.

First Meeting with a Divorce Attorney

Ideally, five things happen at your first meeting with a divorce attorney:

1. Establish a Relationship

This meeting is your first chance to build a relationship with your lawyer. It’s essential that you feel comfortable talking with them.

If possible, also meet any other staff you’ll be working with, such as a paralegal or legal assistant. You may save money by working directly with the paralegal on things like scheduling court appearances, correspondence, and filings.

2. Complete the Engagement Contract

At this meeting, you and the lawyer will review a contract, sometimes called an engagement letter, retainer agreement, or representation and fee agreement. Go over it with the lawyer, ask any questions you have, and keep a copy for your records.

The contract sets out the attorney-client relationship, legal fees and payment terms, each side’s responsibilities, and other information about the representation and the firm’s policies.

The contract may seem long, but it sets clear expectations from the start. If an attorney has no written contract, has one that’s extremely vague or short, or won’t sign one with you, that’s a big red flag.

Your attorney should be glad to explain the contract and answer all your questions. If a concern about the representation isn’t addressed in the contract, bring it up and consider adding it before you sign. At a minimum, you should be confident about how the issue will be handled.

3. Deposit the Retainer

You officially have representation once you and the attorney have both signed the contract and you’ve paid the retainer. At that point, you’re a client and the lawyer is your attorney.

4. Discuss Divorce & Receive Legal Guidance

This is the “meat and potatoes” of the first meeting. Most divorce attorneys will gather information about you, your family, and your spouse, usually by asking a wide range of questions. This often takes one to two hours, depending on how much there is to discuss.

It can feel invasive, but it gives your new lawyer an overview of your situation. Just as important, it helps them spot issues that may come up in your case.

Use this meeting to raise anything else that hasn’t come up yet, and ask for advice on any urgent concerns. If you’ve been served with divorce papers or have any earlier court orders, your lawyer may review them with you.

5. Developing a Plan & Next Steps in Case

By the end of the first meeting, you and your lawyer should have a plan for moving the case forward, based on your situation, goals, and preferences. Before you leave, your attorney should clearly explain what they’ll be doing next and what they need from you.

What to bring: It helps to bring any court papers you’ve received, prior court orders, recent pay stubs and tax returns, and statements for major accounts, debts, and retirement plans, along with a list of your questions.

Have another divorce or family law question? See our list of topics or the FAQ page.